


Joined at the …

by M J Holyoke (wholeyolk)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Body Modification, Crack, Original Works Exchange 2018, Other, POV First Person, Sexual Content, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-06-11 11:49:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15314862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wholeyolk/pseuds/M%20J%20Holyoke
Summary: Strictly speaking, of course, we don’t “chomp.” We don’t even have teeth. Rather, wesubsumeandconsume. Then, after we’re finished, we plug ourselves into your circulatory and nervous systems. When all goes well—which it almost always does—it’s seamless. And that’s The Joining in a nutshell.(Ah. Maybe I shouldn’t mention “nuts” …? I didn’t mean it that way, I promise. Joining with one of us means castration, effectively, to be sure, but some male humans can be soooooo ridiculously sensitive!)





	Joined at the …

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gloria_scott](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gloria_scott/gifts).



It doesn’t hurt. Really! It doesn’t. I promise. Cross my heart and hope to die.

Look, we wouldn’t last for very long as a species if it hurt, okay? I mean, yeah, we prefer to effect The Joining whilst the host is asleep as a general rule, but you wouldn’t _remain_ asleep for very long if you could feel me chomping away on your cock and balls, now would you?

You wouldn’t. Hell, _I_ wouldn’t either in your position. So … there you go.

Strictly speaking, of course, we don’t “chomp.” We don’t even have teeth. Rather, we _subsume_ and _consume_. Then, after we’re finished, we plug ourselves into your circulatory and nervous systems. When all goes well—which it almost always does—it’s seamless. And that’s The Joining in a nutshell.

(Ah. Maybe I shouldn’t mention “nuts” …? I didn’t mean it that way, I promise. Joining with one of us means castration, effectively, to be sure, but some male humans can be soooooo ridiculously sensitive!)

In any case, we’re not _just_ parasites. In return for a steady supply of oxygen and nutrients from your bloodstream, we do offer a few … shall we say … _perks_.

No, no, the major perk isn’t the scintillating conversation. Whilst, yes, it is true that Yours Truly happens to be an excellent conversationalist, many other members of the species … well, let’s just call them “stoic, silent types,” shall we?

Ahem.

Nah, the major perk—the first of two perks, actually—is the pain reduction. Nothing will ever hurt again if you don’t want it to. We’re a boon to hosts with chronic conditions, and The United Council on Foreign Host Relations has been in talks with the medical establishments of over two-dozen of your Earth nations to provide palliative medical services in return for settlement rights. The negotiations proceed apace.

My host, however, was perfectly healthy when we Joined, and since he’d already fathered three children—not in the normal fashion but rather via artificial insemination, the irony—he wasn’t overly bothered by the obvious side effects. In fact, Joining with me ended up saving his life.

I’d love to tell you the story, but I can’t, not really, since a lot of it is still classified. CIA field operative stuff, Outer Space Edition, you get me? But … okay, imagine José as Bruce Willis in the first _Die Hard_ movie, and then imagine the additional amazing things John McClane could’ve done if none of that had actually _hurt_.

Yeah, it was damn impressive.

It was also quite the bonding experience—and I mean that in a buddy-to-buddy sense, not a parasite-to-man sense.

In fact, I guess you could say that we’ve become a bit more than, ahem, “just friends” since then.

Which brings me to the other major perk of being Joined to someone like me: the pleasure. Oh my my my, yes, _the pleasure_! We adore being touched intimately. Tickling, fondling, stroking, occasional scratching and pinching, yep, all good! And because we’re plugged into your nervous system, you’ll adore it, too. Will. You. Ever.

Have you ever orgasmed twenty times in a single night? No refractory period required? No over-sensitivity to ruin the fun when you’ve only just begun? Yeah, nope. Didn’t think so. José hadn’t either.

Anyway, if you hear José screaming bloody murder in his bed these days, worry not! It’s not because there’s parasite _eating_ his genitals.

This here parasite has replaced them—and that includes for purely recreational purposes.

 

* * *

_~ The End ~_

* * *


End file.
